Australia loves to call itself the “clever country,” a beacon of innovation and fairness on the world stage. But when you look closely, it’s clear we’re not so much clever as obedient. While we wrap ourselves in platitudes about mateship, democracy, and fairness, our leaders have systematically tethered this nation to the interests of an empire in decline.
Yes, the United States. Our “great and powerful friend” whose wars we fight, whose surveillance state we host, and whose approval we desperately crave. From the barren red sands of Pine Gap to the boots of U.S. Marines stomping around Darwin, Australia has become less a middle power and more a middle manager for Washington’s imperial ambitions.
So here’s the question: will we continue to play this subservient role as the empire flails, or will we wake up, grow a spine, and chart a course that’s actually clever?
The Empire Down Under: A Willing Deputy
Let’s start with Pine Gap, the secretive joint U.S.-Australia intelligence facility that monitors everything from missile launches to your emails. Officially, it’s about “keeping us safe.” In reality, it’s a critical node in America’s global surveillance and targeting network, feeding data to its drone assassination programs. And don’t kid yourself—Australia doesn’t control it. We’re the landlords, but Uncle Sam holds the keys.
Want to talk about sovereignty? It doesn’t exist when a foreign power has the ability to spy on your citizens and use your land for operations that you’re not even allowed to question. Pine Gap isn’t just a compromise—it’s a full-blown abdication of independence.
Then there’s the 2,500 U.S. Marines stationed in Darwin. Ostensibly, they’re here to help with “regional security.” Translation: they’re part of Washington’s China containment strategy, and if a war breaks out in the Pacific, Darwin will light up like a Christmas tree.
The U.S. presence isn’t just symbolic. It’s a commitment—a way of tying Australia to America’s military machinery under the guise of “interoperability.” That’s the buzzword, by the way: interoperability. It sounds nice and cooperative until you realise it means integrating Australian defence into U.S. systems so tightly that we can’t say no when they push the big red button.
AUKUS: Billions for Submarines, Crumbs for Australians
Let’s not forget AUKUS, the glittering jewel in the crown of Australia’s strategic servitude. We’ve pledged to spend over $300 billion on nuclear-powered submarines that won’t be operational until the 2040s—all to “counter” China. Meanwhile, our hospitals crumble, housing is unaffordable, and mental health services are overwhelmed.
The real kicker? These submarines are tied to American technology, ensuring that even decades from now, we’ll be reliant on Washington’s whims to keep them running. AUKUS isn’t about security; it’s about locking Australia into permanent military dependence on the U.S.
Economic Dependency: Mining for Their Gain
Australia’s economy is a tale of two empires. We dig up resources to feed China’s manufacturing juggernaut, but we cling to America for strategic and financial security. It’s the worst of both worlds: we’re environmentally pillaging ourselves for one power while prostrating ourselves to the other.
Take the Adani coal mine, a climate disaster waiting to happen, or our gas exports, which do more for corporate profits than national prosperity. While we’re at it, why not mention that Australia’s housing crisis is exacerbated by the same neoliberal policies America has perfected—privatise the gains, socialise the pain.
The Empire’s Media Mouthpiece
Australia’s media landscape might as well be a subsidiary of the Murdoch empire, a transnational propaganda machine that drums up fear about China, dismisses climate action, and paints America as the eternal good guy. It’s no coincidence that dissenting voices—whether on war, inequality, or indigenous rights—are sidelined or attacked.
The media plays the same role here as it does in the U.S.: keeping the public docile, misinformed, and too distracted to notice that the people running the show are driving us off a cliff.
The Climate Crisis: Fossil Fools and American Tools
If you want to know where Australia stands in the global fight against climate collapse, just look at our coal exports. We’re among the world’s largest fossil fuel exporters, even as Pacific Island nations beg us to take climate change seriously.
Washington, of course, sets the tone. The U.S. military is the world’s largest polluter, and its fossil fuel industry calls the shots in Congress. Australia follows suit, shielding its fossil fuel barons while pretending to care about a “green future.” It’s performative, it’s cynical, and it’s killing the planet.
What’s Next for Australia: Subservience or Sovereignty?
Here’s the brutal truth: Australia has spent decades punching down in the region while sucking up to Washington. From supporting coups in Indonesia and Fiji to ignoring West Papua’s pleas for justice, we’ve proven time and again that our commitment to “rules-based order” is little more than lip service.
But it doesn’t have to be this way. Australia could lead. We could champion climate justice, embrace a truly independent foreign policy, and build partnerships with our Pacific neighbours based on respect, not exploitation.
That would mean saying no to the U.S. when it pushes us into conflicts that serve its interests, not ours. It would mean shutting down Pine Gap or, at the very least, taking back control of its operations. It would mean kicking the U.S. Marines out of Darwin and rejecting AUKUS in favour of real regional diplomacy.
The Clever Country Must Grow a Spine
Australia loves to think of itself as a smart, fair, forward-thinking nation. But as long as we continue as America’s obedient lackey, those words are meaningless. We can’t call ourselves clever while we let foreign powers dictate our defence, our economy, and our future.
The empire is crumbling, but it’s not going quietly. If we cling to it, we’ll go down with it. The alternative is to finally stand on our own two feet—not as a deputy sheriff, not as a middle manager, but as a truly independent nation that prioritises people and planet over profits and power.
The choice is ours. But the clock is ticking.